28-year-old husband contronfts female fitness influencer after 27-year-old wife finds him in the back of her videos liking comments that she should go for her “gym crush”: “I'm trying to trust him here”

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    Husband is appearing in gym girl TikTok videos

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    Alright, I hope I'm not about to come across as crazy. The situation is this: My(F27) husband (M28) and I go to a local gym a few times a week. He mainly lifts weights, and is definitely one of the stronger guys
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    there. There are several "fit-fluencers", both male and female, that frequent our gym, and over the past few months, the girls have started to be really friendly with him. I don't mind that really, it's fine to
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    ask for a spot or form check, but what I didn't realize, and he didn't either (at first) is that he was ending up in their Instagram and TikTok videos.
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    I found out because a friend follows one of these girls sent me a reel asking if I knew my husband was in these videos. When I asked him if he knew, he said he assumed that he was, but didn't realize they had so many followers.
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    The thing that really weirded me out is how the comment section had a lot of comments about how this girl needs to get with her "gym crush". She had even pinned some, and had not mentioned
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    anywhere that he is married. I'm not upset at him, but I just feel like her behavior is really odd. I don't want to be controlling, but I also don't really feel comfortable with her being around him, especially if I'm not present.
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    I guess I'm just asking for advice on how to bring this up with hubby without coming across as controlling.
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    Relevant Comments Commenter 1: Appearing in them how? Is he participating or just like, in the background? Has he seen the tiktok commentary about their getting together?
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    OOP: It's always videos where they are lifting near their max and need him to spot. So he's participating but not the focal point of the video.
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    Is OOP concerned because her husband was spotting someone in the gym in videos? OOP: I guess I'm concerned that she in particular has intentions beyond that. For the women that aren't including him in videos I have no apprehensions about that.
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    Commenter 2: I mean, the first step is probably bringing it up, and explaining the comments pinned about getting with her gym crush.
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    Any reasonably well adjusted adult shouldn't take. this as controlling. Nothing wrong inherently with bringing it up so he is aware. It's possible he doesn't
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    even notice because he doesn't care, or it's possible he enjoys the attention in the comments (men don't tend to be 'desired' publicly that often so it could be an ego boost thing too).
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    OOP: Yeah I guess he doesn't know about the comments. I've just dealt with some extreme insecurity in our marriage in the past and don't want to put him through that again. I was actually genuinely overbearing partner in the past and he loved me through it, so I'm trying to trust him here.
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    Does the person knows that OOP and her husband are married? OOP: Oh I'm sure she knows we are together, we show up at the same time and leave at the same time and peck each other on the cheek between sets occasionally. I think I see the ring in one video, but kind of hard to see in most given the distance and angle.
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    OOP should let her husband know to talk with the gym management to shut down the filming if he didn't know he was going to be in the videos OOP: I mean, he knew that they were filming it, and assumed some got posted online, but he didn't know that a couple of these girls have
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    hundreds of thousands of followers. He isn't on social media so it just flew over his head that it might be a possibility. When I told him how many followers they had he said " she isn't really that strong." lol I love him for that
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    Okay people, I appreciate you all so much for commenting on my post yesterday, and validating that I'm not being crazy!
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    Last night, I brought up the situation with the influencers again, and told my husband that comments were being left on the videos that made me uncomfortable, and showed him.
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    Upon seeing the pinned comments (and me explaining who pins a comment and how lol) I think , that's sketchy." I sort of his words were "
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    balked at telling him to do anything, but he told me he would tell the girls that they can't film him anymore, and to get rid of the pinned comments.
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    We went to the gym this evening, and I saw him go talk to her, and now a couple hours later, those comments are gone :) He said the girl was super embarrassed, and apologized a bunch. I'm so glad I talked to him because now I feel loads better!
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    Commenter 1: This sounds like a great result - he's a keeper, even if his TikTok game is terrible!
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    Commenter 2: Finally a good husband after seeing so many bad ones in these posts, don't get me wrong - I know there are amazing husbands all over the world, we just seldom get to hear about them. Happy for u :)!!
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    Commenter 3: Good for you! It was handled very adult like by you without yelling and screaming. Your husband didn't hesitate to do the right thing and calmly talk to the girl privately without causing a scene at the gym!

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